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Sometimes They Aren’t Just Bad Kids
By Richard | August 20, 2007
Dining Out with an Autistic Child
The thing about parenting an autistic child is that it’s easy to forget how unique your universe is. At home, the endless rules and rituals dictated by my 13-year-old son Nate’s disability feel natural. Not easy, but natural.
But when our family goes out for dinner, all hell can, and often does, break loose. Though Nate has made enormous strides since he started attending The Boston Higashi School, eating out is a break in routine, and if something unexpected happens, the experience can be pretty unappetizing. This past April, I took Nate and my son Joey, 8, to a local kid-friendly place. I ordered Nate’s burger (he always wants the same thing when we eat out) as soon as we sat down—and then came the inevitable curveball. The burger arrived almost raw. I sent it back to be cooked more, but all Nate processed was that one second his burger was there and the next someone had taken it away. He jumped up angrily from his chair, followed the waiter into the kitchen and grabbed his plate back. At other restaurants, Nate has licked buffet utensils and thrown tantrums when the wait for a table is too long.
It was with families like mine in mind that Alexandra Abend set out to organize Autism Family Night in restaurants. Alex, 16, has an 8-year-old autistic brother. “We were at some little restaurant,” she recalls, “when my brother started completely freaking out, pulling his hair, trying to bang his head on the table, pulling my dad’s hair, biting…I overheard this man behind us say, ‘Why can’t they be better parents?’” MORE
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